Link's fked up adventure
by unknown commander
Summary: this is what truly happened duing the wind waker .... and when your on a sugar rush,um...pleas R & R
1. Chapter 1

Author: I wrote this doing a sugar rush...hehe enjoy

disclaimer; I do not own the legend of zelda series

WARNING: this will fry brain cell's

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why the hell I'm I here?

Okay, why the hell I'm I helping you with this adventure again:asked link from the top of the king of red lions as they were sailing

red looked up and replied: were doing this to save your sister remember...

FLASHBACK-

Okay, I'll give you 1000 rubbies and a hoverboard for your sister : asked a certain blue hooded salesman.

Aryll looked at link and thought ( he'll never sell me, I'm his sister )

link thought for a moment and replied: NO way! I can't sell my sister for a price like that..., aryll smiled at him,...I can't sell my sister for a price like that because she's only worth 800 rubbies and a hoverboard :replied link.

the merchant nodded his head, gave link the items, grabbed aryll's hand, and started to walk away with her. Aryll turned around to face link and shouted: YOU F$KING BAS$D! HOW COULD YOU SELL YOUR OWN SISTER!

Link just looked up from counting his rubbies and said: hey if I sold granma, what makes you think I wouldn't sell you?

just then, suddenly, a hugh bird swooped down, grabbed aryll, and flew off, but not before ayrll flipped link of and yelled: FREEDOM! SWEET FREEDOM! Muahahahaha!

the two stood there for a moment, then the salesman ran over to link, grabbed his stuff and replied: no girl, no deal.

link fell to his knee's and shouted: Nooooooo, the salesman just sighed and replied: look if you can get her back, I'll give you a hoverboard and a gba that matches it.

link thought for a moment a replied: deal

ENDFLASHBACK-

hehehe : replied link, who was rubbing his hands evily.

Baka :replied red, as plainly as the sea

WHERE! Shouted link as he climbed up on top of the mast with his pictobox ready to take a picture

Turn the box 180 degree's and press the trigger, quickly before he escape's :replied red, with a sigh

link did as he was told, and took in picture of himself causing him to go blind and fall into the water... which was shark infested. Dammit, that's the third time this week, hey kid could you press the reset :asked red. sure :replied a random kid, as he pushed the reset button, causing link to reappear back on the boat.

Now what have we learned : asked red, in a teacher like voice. Link looked at him and replied: I learned that you're an ass and that shark's would make great hitman if they tried hard enough

red made his sail knock link back into the water, had the kid press the reset button, sighed, and continued on the journey.

so what are we looking for on this adventure again: asked link, who looked borad

were searching for my ball's ;replied red plainly

link's eye's widened: your...balls?

yes, the only to save the world ( and links sister ) is to find my ball's : replied red, as he looked back and saw that link was trying to hang himself... but, failed.

Red signed and said: there called the din's, farore's, and naryu's pearl.

link stopped for a moment and replied: oh... that's what you meant, so how did you lose them?

red looked at him and replied: my friend's stole them, but that's were you come in, your going to kick there ass's, get my balls back, and save the world!

link signed, he new this was going to be a long adventure... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- author: pleas R & R


	2. dragonroaster the big pointy rockthing

Author: hello and welcome, I've finally had another sugar rush, so I was able to wright another chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own legend of zelda

enjoy the fic

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Dragon roaster, the big pointy rock...thing

Were finally here:screamed red as he looked at the island. Ya, we know now shut the hell up : replied Link who was sitting near the back of the boat tiring to get a tan. Reds response to this was knocking link, with his mast, onto the shore.

Link, this is the first location, climb to the top of the very high, very steep, very pointy rock thing and meet with valoo he should have one of my balls : stated red as he looked at link.

Link glanced up the mountain before looking at red and yelling: you want me to climb THAT, are you F!$KING CRAZY.

Why yes, yes I am : replied red as his eye started to twitch. Link backed away at this point. Look, why I deal with my insanity, go check out what that shop has to offer, link just nodded and entered the shop/boat.

When link entered he looked around to see a man being swarmed by flies, link looked at him for a moment before speaking: hello, do you happen to have any thing useful that might come in handy on a mystical adventure to recover the lost balls of a taking boat ?

The salesman looked at him before replying: nope but we have a wonderful selection of crap.

Link looked at him in a confused way: um excuse me did you just say you had a selection of crap. Salesman face brightened: yes sir! We have a great collection of crap, shit, holy shit, brown shit, yellow shit, green shit, manure, cow pie, owl pellets,-

link slowly started to walk out the door: um-I've got to go, bye., link ran out the door as the salesman waved to him and yelling: have a craptastic day.

Out side the boat, you could here the singing of a person about how craptastic shit is, that was until the ship exploded into a huge wall of flame, While link and red were outside watching it burn with cloth pins on there nose's.

ha! I told you it would still float, even with a ton and a half of burning shit on it, now cough up the rubbies :yelled link as red handed him the rubbies.

Sigh... now I'm broke again, say link, how much C 4 did you use :Asked red curiously

Link looked up from counting his rubbies: 3 pounds, why do you ask ?

Nothing, just wondering, now it's time for you to get my ball back : stated red as he picked link up and threw him all the way to the top, while link was cursing red out all the way.

When link got there, he found a winged girl trapped behind a jail like structure. When she saw him, she cried out for him to come over, link complied as he moved towards the prison.

The girl looked at him before talking: my good sir, please free me from my prison. Link thought for a moment before replying: no

The girl looked at him confused: why not?

I don't feel like it :replied link as he shrugged.

Please help me : yelled the girl

no :replied link calmly

Please

No

Please

No

Please

How about you give me all your stuff : replied link as he held out his hand's

She thought for a moment before removing every thing but her clothes and handed it to link: now will you get me out! Link looked at her for a moment before replying: what? Hell no! When did I ever say I was going to free you, well it's best I be on my way now, thanks for your stuff, he then began to walk up the stairs.

The girl reflected before saying: son of a b-

BACK TO LINK

Link had found the dragon on top of the mountain doing nothing...not even breathing.

Link walked towards him while saying: valoo, the wind spirt, give me back red's ball

valoo looked at him before replying: no, not with out my bunny slippers

Link was now confused: your bunny slippers?

valoo looked at him again: yes, my big ass bunny slippers, if you can get them then I'll gladly give red his ball back, as he again did nothing

link mumbled something before replying: fine, I'll get your slipper's, link then walked towards valoo, now move your fatass so I can face the boss of this place.

valoo nodded as he moved from his spot reviling a small hole, link jumped down it.

When he arrived, link only had to what a moment before the boss bursted from the lava and reviled that he was wearing them on his hands/ claws.

Link waited for the monster to quite down before pointing at it and yelling: HEY, MONSTER, GIVE ME BACK THE BUNNY SLIPPERS

NO! they make me feel warm inside : replied the boss, as he hugged the slippers to it's chest

Link waved his hand: you will give me the slippers

I will give you the slippers : replied the monster as it dropped the slippers

Link waved his hand again: You will send them straight to valoo.

I will send them straight to valoo : the monster teleported the slippers back to valoo, who teleported the ball back to red.

Link waved his hand for the final time: you will kill your self, I will kill my self : replied the monster as it used one of it's claws to decapitate it's self, causing link to disappear in a swirling whirlwind, and reappear next to red.

Link for gaining the first of my balls , I'm to give you a useless stick that has no mystical powers what so ever, it's called the wind waker : red said while he threw the waker to link, which he used o pick his nose with , now come on, the next of the pearls is in some forest area.

So link and red sailed off into the sunset, but not before link pushed a button causing roaster island to blow up due to the C 4 he planted.

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author: please R & R


End file.
